40

Yes -That's right, 60 days are completed.


Today, 11am I will only have 40 days left!

My studio started an official 31-day challenge for the month of August.
This is always a great time at the studio with great energy and familiar faces returning every day!

I'll write more on my 'state of play' next week coz I have to run off now to do an early Sunday morning class!

‘Bikram Amusement Park’

It seems I got myself a ticket to the ‘Bikram Amusement Park’ and I am stuck in the rollercoaster.

I’ve heard people talk about it, -and I read a lot about it in other blogs, but holy crapballs you have no idea what it all means till you’ve been there. Well…… I know now; this rollercoaster swings me from high’s to low’s.

I don’t like rollercoaster’s much; I get nauseous… but since there’s no way that I know of to get off this ride I better sit tight and let it rock my little world.

Tough week....

My mantra: How come it’s only Monday, how come it’s only still Tuesday..? I need July to be over already…….. Heck I need August to be over already. Wish it was spring already. Get me near the end of the challenge, give me my life back and ‘ouch’ I am sore. How come every day yoga isn’t making me skinny? My hands look ugly and I have got ‘Bikram Stigmata’ on my knees.
And then that yoga truck. That's the truck that hits you...then just when you think you are gonna get up and recover, you hear the "beep, beep, beep...' as it backs up and runs you over again.

But then.......out of the blue something hilarious happens (which I think can only ever be funny when exhaustion strikes and you are on the so-called ‘Bikram rollercoaster’) and I laughed harder since...well…a long time -during class! It was the unstoppable laugh; the one that’s too loud, embarrassing, hard to stop and makes your face bright red and has tears running down your face.

Anyways, back to my mantra. It’s only Wednesday today…? I need July to be over already…….. Heck I need August to be over already. Get me near the end of the challenge, give me my life back and ‘ouch’ I am sore…….
Ulch....

And so the story continues

With 46 days left in the challenge, this was how last week went down:

Monday:
Sore left foot, right knee, right hip but surprisingly a good class. 90-Minutes flew by, no improvements or setbacks; just a whole lot of sweating.

Tuesday:
Did 2 (back2back) classes. Great new teacher. In the 2nd class my mind was set on giving up but I did not give up coz of my yogi friend. Thinking if she was still standing and working it, so can I! Gosh… I worked hard this Tuesday evening.
In between classes I was curious if I’ve gotten more flexible halfway through my 101-day challenge and I tried to do the split; with success!

Wednesday:
I was limping due to Tuesday’s classes. Was not excited at all for class but after the first 10 min I zoned in and the teacher motivated me. I had great class. Prayer position in toe stand (I found out that the trick is extensive concentration combined with extensive contraction of abdominal muscles)!

Thursday:
Boring class, tired body, strained a muscle in my neck during class.

Friday:
Slow class, early morning class which I never find easy. Very stiff. Post class I felt very energised though for the rest of the day!

Saturday:
Great class; hot – humid! I find the backward bending quite scary because it always feels like my back is about to break but somehow it opened up this morning and bended further backwards which was even complimented on by the teacher.

Sunday:
Hung-over…
But thank gawd for coconut water and my yogi friend next to me. It turned out to be a good class. Balance was a little off but I recovered from the hangover within 5 minutes and felt amazing.


This week I have decided on the ultimate gift for me – from me upon completion of the 101 day challenge. Remember my 'totattooornottotattoo' blog…? The answer is 'totattoo'; I am getting one when I finish the 101-day challenge mid September!


The challenge has become a journey resulting in intense growth. Bikram yoga has the ability to peel back the layers to really expose what's going on in your mind and heart, whether you like what you see or not.

"A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work." For some time now my dreams and fantasies have been far more exciting than my realities. What I've come to realize, is that I can make all of my dreams come true through sweat (literally), determination and hard work. I firmly believe that as I'm on this journey to self-realization many new doors will open for me and my dreams will become my real life.

50

Drunk on positivism

Gosh, I am positive lately…!

It’s (pleasantly) weird because my glass was always half empty and never half full. ~It’s like I am drunk on positivism!

Negativity was always a great protector. ‘It could only turn out better than my expectations!’ Nowadays I don’t seem to need that anymore because even if I am referring to something I dislike, I still end it on a positive note.

Could it be happiness? –Yes I am happy!
I sure hope the positive mind-set is a keeper and with a bright future ahead I am quite confident that it is!

Expectations

Lights are off and it’s silent. I lie on my belly with 4 hours to go in this room. I am glancing around and preparing mentally. It almost feels like lights will go on soon, music will start and a show is about to begin.

But a show is not what’s going down this eve.
It is Tuesday and me and my yogi friend have dedicated ourselves to do another double class. It’s her 1-year Bikram Yoga anniversary; now that’s passion -she actually remembered the date that she started- and I love the teacher who teaches the late class on Tuesdays and would love a day off in return for this double! Tit for tat ;-)

The 1st class went alright. It was humid, I gave it my all. My skin felt hot, I was out of breath and my heart was beating hard. I love to feel this way; it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It’s this feeling that makes me feel more and more in love with Bikram Yoga. It’s a complete work-out like no other!

The 2nd class I wasn’t feeling all that awesome anymore. I was tired, psychically drained, in other words exhausted.
Such a waste because I love the teacher and it was definitely not her fault. A lot of people where struggling in this class so there was not much energy to steal.
I am happy to have done it though. That extra class is ‘in my pocket’; calories are burned and I felt proud and wonderful after!
Besides; I can’t have great classes every time and I just have to see what each class will bring me.

In general, expectations bring me excitement or disappointment. Most of the time there is not much in between.
I find it hard to live in the here & now without any prospective, - exciting plans for the near future. I plan and plan and plan, and with that come expectations. I wish I could independently control the outcome (noop, I am not controlling at all… well… maybe just a little) cause I’ll take excitement as a result any day –as you ‘my lovely 18 followers’ would probably as well ;-)

Expectations are a waste in practice. You can come to class thinking it will be a great one but instead of greatness you’ll have a yoga truck running you over or you’ll come to class feeling ‘bleh’ and praying for it to be over but it turns out to be a super duper class.


Anyways:
I have completed 56 days/ classes in my Bikram 101 challenge!
The 45 classes I’ve had so far have brought me strength, determination, improvements, setbacks, pride, bliss, energy, discovery, health, tired- (sometimes sore) muscles, soul searching (-and finding!), healthy nutrition, positive mind set, an ongoing & growing love for my practise and best of all; ‘prospective’…….

***

“Thank you ‘envy’. Although they say you are a sin and are often labelled as negative you open my eyes to new opportunities, want more,-strive for more and coz of the feeling you give me I believe that anything is possible”.

‘Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable’

In our Western society we don’t cope well with being-/ feeling uncomfortable.
As soon as we get uncomfortable our minds tells us to give up. The mind is strong and extremely hard to ignore.

Practicing Bikram yoga has taught me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It’s no picnic; the 90 minutes in the hot room. But by repeatable practice, mind over matter and with commitment and determination you can put the mind on ‘mute’, overcome giving up and be a stronger person for it eventually.

After consistent Bikram Yoga practice over the last year and a half I am absolutely convinced that nowadays I can deal with ‘uncomfortable’ in life as suppose to back in the day when I was quite the quitter whenever things got tough….!

Hot Damn!

Yesterday I’ve done a double class and I am now back on track in my 101-day challenge! Great teachers, hot - humid classes and full commitment.

It felt great doing the double and with this euphoric feeling of pride and fulfilment it even crossed my mind to make this a standard on Tuesdays.
BUT… then throughout last night my body started to ache… Yes…I am incredibly sore…and trying to avoid too much movement today (until my Bikram class later today that is). Could someone fill up my water bottles today… -Jennie..?

Now that I’ve passed the 1st month I am curious to the effects this challenge will bring me. Yesterday it felt like I was on drugs (which….. really I am not). During my nearly 4 hours in the hot room I found a whole lot of not too funny stuff really funny and it made me laugh –a lot..! I believe it’s because I feel happy; great and exciting things are heading my way…! > More on this later ;-)

This week’s thank-you-note:
“Dear photo of me folded in a yoga posture captured in someone’s iphone: Thank you for being fun to look at. This ‘delightful mid-night graphic’ reminds of a fun night with a few too many drinks than ever allowed in a yoga studio as I don’t recall any photo’s where taken….”

Hot, Hotter, Hottest...

Practicing Bikram yoga forces me to focus and concentrate. ~ During those 90-minutes my mind is calm and eliminates all that is going on in my life. It’s such a peaceful 90-minutes although it’s such hard physical labour and as a result I get new perspectives in life. ~ Perspectives for present time and (near) future; my hopes and dreams and it has never felt more important to me to act on these hopes and dreams. It’s scary, frustrating, exciting and takes some creativity and soul searching but I am getting there... and I am ready to welcome ‘it’!

- - -

State of play:
Wednesday I completed the 1st month in my 101-day challenge with today only 70 days left!
Time flies and when you have a 101 day challenge insight instead of a 30-day challenge; I can tell you those 30 days where easy this time.
No emotional rollercoaster, no exhaustion… ready for more!
The hotter the room (42 + degrees) the better I ‘perform’. It’s easy to get very flexible in the hot classes and go deeper into postures. I love the hot classes because this is when I am able to take postures to a new level.
When classes are not too hot (-/- 39.5 degrees) my muscles feel sore, short/ tight and tired.

This week a dedicated ‘thank you note’:
“To my ‘Ultra Muscleze’: Although you taste foul I’d like to shout out a big thanks to your high dose of magnesium with a comprehensive range of cofactors which really fix up my muscles each night”.

A day without Bikram yoga......

.....is the day I got really sick.

Today is a sad day.
I am STILL sick and it seems to be getting worse instead of better.

No way I can do yoga today; I can't breath through my nose, I keep sneezing, coughing and blowing my nose, since yesterday I've got tonsillitis and with that I have a fever. I hoped that continuing my Bikram practice would make me recover quicker but it now seems to be the opposite....

A sad day it is in my 101-challenge...... but I can still make it better by doing a double(; if I feel better again tomorrow..?)

Anyways, I am almost 1 month in my challenge (which I can hopefully still resume and eventually complete).
I am breathing controlled and calm which gives me strength and determination, I am able to move deeper into postures and still keep alignment, I find it easy and enjoyable to go every single day (sick days excluded!)
My muscles are getting tired (mainly hamstrings and shoulders) and therefore balance ain't always easy to master. Exhaustion does not equal strength obviously which is much needed in balancing postures.
I am taking my muscleeze (electrolytes with a high high high dose of magnesium to quickly recover muscles) every night and even took a double dose yesterday.
I am far off from welcoming the yoga bum, however I do see that my legs are changing in shape. My new abdominal muscles seem quite shy still but they peak through the layer of cookies and chocolate most days so I hope they will come out soon.

Very very very excited I am for Rajashree; Bikram's wife who is coming to Australia: http://www.bikram.com.au/rajashree.pdf
I am attending the full day seminar August 7 which will include 2 posture clinics (!!!!!) a Bikram yoga class and meditation. I am sure I'll gain so much from her knowledge, can't wait!


On a final note,
I read the delightful ThxThxThx blog, “a daily exercise in gratitude” where Leah Dietrich writes a daily thank-you note to something in her life. Here's mine for today;
" Thank you flu, for making me go to the pharmacy feeling my absolute worst and on my way passing the most gorgeous shoes which I am now the happy owner of. They made me feel better instantly"

In sickness and in health

Fever, headache, body aches, sore throat, runny nose...... Yes I've got the flu......
With the flu in early stages Bikram was my medicine. I felt amazing during the daily 90-minutes in the hot room and for a couple of hours after class.
Yesterday I wasn't this fortunate. Lacking sleep and feeling my absolute worst I went to a 10am class hoping that this class would make me feel better. It didn't, it nearly killed me instead....
I sat down, feeling miserable, for the entire class with a few minor attempts to get up and try a posture without passing out. Thankfully it was a 43-degree class which made me feel incredibly sweaty and almost like I actually had a great workout ;-)
I felt bad for my 'neighbor' yogi's since I must have given off such bad energy. - A special note of apology to my Polish yogi friend.... Maybe you will excuse me if I advertise your fabulous blog: www.notthedestination.com -

Today; a brand new day; I still feel like crap but my class went quite alright.
I am 3 weeks in my 101-day challenge. My body is getting a little tired but I am sure it will regain strength soon. Would help if this freakin' flu would f#%,k off already. "Echinacea, why won't you make me feel better...?"
Overall State of Play: I enjoy my new daily routine ;-) I am ready for more!

They try to make me go to rehab......

Some people come to practice for the physical benefits, for weight loss or body toning and some practice for deeper benefits on an emotional level. 'Some people even become addicted'.

Even though I was unable to see my teacher due to the posture I was in, I knew she referred to me and I felt her eyes on me.
The fact that she approached me before saying "Fiona, have you gotten addicted" might be the why I felt like the addict.
People don't get why on earth I want to 'torture' myself with a consecutive 101-day Bikram challenge and yet it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. It's the best habit I've ever created for myself and the benefits are enormous. Of course there are days I'd rather spend my time some place else but after each class I feel amazing and so glad that I went again (and again, and again, and-.........)

So, without having to give it much thought, yes I might just be addicted to Bikram yoga. There...... I have said it!













I talk about it (a lot...), I blog about it, recruit new yogi's.
It eases my mind, makes me happy, enlightens my soul and strengthens my body. Bikram is my religion and I am grateful to have discovered it's magic!

The pursuit of happiness

"Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder..."
~Thoreau~

I have so much to be happy and grateful for and yet I am always searching for more.
This doesn't make me unhappy and yet always in search for happiness.

For a moment, just a little while, I'd like to stand still and appreciate the beauty of all I have. Some how it seems like an impossible task cause all that I have never seems enough.

Is this just me, is it build in my character or is this a human normality?
Normal being natural or normal being what might be meant by the claim that a person has become.
The pursuit of happiness; isn't this want anyone wants?
Even if you don't want to increase your happiness you probably want to maintain what happiness you already have.
Bikram teaches us to look forward, 'there is nothing for you on the floor'.

There are little goals in my life, such as my Bikram 101 challenge.
Medium goals such as starting a new life in Australia and getting my permanent residency (almost there.....!)
I also have life altering goals such as finding my purpose in life; finding what I would love to do and be proud of. This last one is the one I am struggling with. I wish I knew what would combine my passion, skills and fits in my bigger picture. Tips anyone....?

Yogi Pride

Struck by the first symptoms of the flu and with only 4hours of sleep after a fun night out and maybe... just maybe..... still a little drunk was my condition this morning.
If there was no challenge I would have stayed in bed, feeling sorry for myself.

But there is a challenge and this is what made me get up, hydrate and bring my ass into the hot room.
And I am SO happy for it. It was hot, humid with a great energy. Within the first 15minutes I sweated out all of last nights toxins (pizza, wine, corona's, cake, maccas, jagerbombs, vodka.....) and for 90minutes I felt good..... no I felt great!!
My body opened up and executed postures really really well. Balance was on and my muscles strong and flexible.

Funny how a hot room can lift the feelin' shitty and flu-ish in a non existent state and make me feel so better instantly. Walking home from class I appreciated the clear blue sky, the result of the class and this long weekend with my happy smiling face.

Fingers crossed for a similar class tomorrow cause I feel like the flu is like a hit man, who is investigating my true identity and is ready to strike any time now... Must not get sick and jeopardize the challenge especially since it's going so well.

I take my electrolytes consistently and enjoy the progress and journey in my every day practice throughout my 101challenge. I am still way not ready for it to be over! I must aim to have a healthier intake. Epic fail on my nutrition lately..... Every day practice makes me hungry...
Tomorrow class 13, almost 2 weeks in the challenge and although there is a long road ahead; time flies!

Things I've learned

*Concentrate, meditate and let’s begin
* No need to move, fidget or adjust costume
* T is for Tom, L is for Linda ~although I prefer T for terrific, L for Love;
* Alignment is more important than depth;
* You have nothing to lose. You had nothing to begin with;
* Tighter is lighter;
* You can mess with the gods but you can’t mess with the knees;
* You will be a Japanese ham sandwich, a flower peddle blooming, a yogi solder, a half moon, a 747 lifting off, a camel, a rabbit, a cobra, a dead body, a bow, a ballerina, a half tortoise and an eagle;
* When finished you are cooked spaghetti or chocolate cake;
* You shouldn’t be a broken umbrella;
* (You can always) Go or look back, fall back, way back more back;
* Lock your knee, lock your knee, lock your knee;
* Your leg must be lamppost, one piece, unbroken ~it feels in fact like you have no knee;
* It's a lifetime practice, and it's a lifestyle;
* Pleasure of the pain;
* Perfection is not the goal. It's not even part of the equation;
* This is our journey and we are so incredibly lucky to have found this path;
* Just get to the room. That is all you have to do. Get to the room;
* You’re here...that's all that matters;
* It’s the action of trying that matters;
* Yoga is the gift that brings us closer to peace;
* People who practice Bikram yoga don’t put up with shit anymore;
* We can't control the events that surround us, but we can control the way we respond;
* Breathe normally and naturally..... don’t forget to breathe;
* Plan ahead;
* Try your best;
* Look at your own two eyes;
* Focus (on yourself);
* Surround yourself by amazing people;
* Your back might hurt like hell, don’t be scared;
* Sometimes you think you can't make it, than realize you just did;
* Don’t compare yourself to others;
* Be on time or you might miss out;
* Where your eyes go, your body will follow;
* It’s okay to cry or laugh. Don’t hold back on emotions;
* Smile..........;
* Coming to class is the best gift you can give yourself;
* Let go of your mind;
* Get back up and try again;
* Follow the dialogue;
* ‘Party time’ means that you can zip your water. Only if you need it;
* Contract your abdominal muscles to protect your lower back;
* Come back up the same way as you went in;
* Look forward;
* Mind over matter;

Sweat till you can't sweat no more.....

Monday... HOT; Tuesday....HOT; Wednesday not so hot....; Thursday....not so hot again.
Is it the room, or is my body done sweating; did I sweat the first 8 days of my challenge so much that I now can't sweat no more.......?
Neh...., I blame the room :-)

Monday and Tuesday classes where awesome, I felt like a true yogi. Total bliss!
I seem to have lost the bliss by Wednesday which was a sad moment. I hate Wednesday's enough as it is. Class was long, I got bored and I was lazy...
Today's class was strong again. Too bad the heat was a bit off, otherwise it would have been a terrific class. Today I whore my short short's (my b-day pressie) for the first time which does indeed -as they say- give better sight on my execution of postures. It also makes me feel like a cow which makes me push harder in class..! A teacher used to say; "contract abdominal muscles and look at your stomach, if you don't like what you see; pull it in even harder". It works, trust me!

Besides, it's my own fault. After my sucky class Wednesday I drank half a bottle of wine, ate a 3/4 pack of oreo's, a few bit of dark chocolate, 2 bowls of risotto and a 3/4 pack of chocolate pack. Yes... You could say I was hungry.

Bikram Bliss

"Bliss can be a state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy"
"Bliss is a constant state of mind undisturbed by gain or loss".

I am back in Sydney, practicing at my same old studio and I am excited!
Not only to be back in my comfort-zone and practicing with my wonderful teachers again but also to have attended the 'grand' opening of the new and 2nd hot room.
The 2nd room is bigger & better than I could have imagined.
It is fantastic, clean, gorgeous, spacious, spiritual, (still) nice smelling and hot! It can bring 90 people together and brings great energy and inspiration.
I have had 2 amazing classes here which both absolutely stood out from any class I have done in Byron Bay. I do however miss the warm weather and the ocean a lot...

State of play:
I am in total Bikram yoga bliss!
93 classes/days to go and I am going full speed, am not even close to wanting to finish or asking myself what the hell I was thinking, I AM SO READY for this 101-day challenge. I have been having a healthy regime coming back to Sydney which is progressing my practice quickly and making me feel energized and ready for more....!

I feel blessed by the encouragement I am getting from friends and also people I don't know. I love your comments and support so much; blogging and not getting any comments makes me sad, so please feel free to (keep) do(ing) so...!

A quick extra thanks to the sweet b-day gifts: Ilona for the well thought of and much needed Bikram outfit, my lovely sister for the awesome scrub which I'll be in much need of (as well as the chippies to keep my energy level up!), mum and dad for the 2hr massage/facial voucher which I have already booked for when I am halfway through my challenge, Leonie for the book which will guide me through making progress on multiple levels during this challenge, Jacqui for the much needed organic (which makes it all better in my mind...) chocolate, Suus, Rogier and colleagues for the movie (voucher) since I'll be in need of much rest, 'lief' for the water cooler -see photo- which will be my biggest support during this challenge and Marieke and Emiel for the Meyer voucher where I bought a very pretty (size 8!!!!) dress.
~ Love you all ~

With my happy smiling face

With the ocean right in front of me I got my laptop out and am about to enjoy my chai latte accompanied by carrot cake.
Yes, Byron Bay is good!

I have been privileged to experience 4 different teachers in my 4 days in Byron. I kick off every morning with a Bikram class and am therefore able to enjoy the rest of the time doing whatever I feel like. Me and my yogi friend where keen to do some double classes but we are having too much fun on our girls trip and decided that 1 class a day is enough. Especially since I have to do 1 a day for 101 days; it feels very unnecessary to spoil all potential to completing this challenge by doing doubles.

The Bikram studio is located right at the beach. ~A beautiful –white sand/ palm trees/ clear ocean/ picture perfect- beach.~
Immediately after class I went for a swim in the ocean which felt amazing. Bikram yoga followed by a swim in the ocean; I swear they were made for each other. In my mind I sang ‘Bikram and the Ocean, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g.....’, while floating on my back in the clear blue sea. I want to bring this ocean to Sydney and put it right next to my studio (I apologise to Oxford Street).

Although I love practicing in this environment I can’t help to get excited to practice again at my studio in Darlinghurst, Sydney.
I miss the teachers and getting inspired by their knowledge, support and their spiritual and-/or funny stories (mainly during the floor series). I tend to get a little bored during the floor series here at Byron, where they stick to the dialogue.

Other things done here; 7 course degustation dinner,(sucky) psych reading, (attempted to) shop, saw a movie, drank wines and ate at the cutest local cafes-pubs-bistro’s, drove around, had a chat to a security guy late at night after someone tried to break in to our apartment while we were in the apartment, survived a tornado, aroused the guy at the massage studio by asking if my yogi friend and I can have a massage together (what I meant to ask was if we could have one at the same time) and bought a (must needed -potentially addictive) muscle relaxer for my 101 day challenge.
What’s still to come; 1hr full body massage(tomorrow!!!), beach, buying a bikini for the beach, dinners, drinks and girls nights out...!

2 down, 99 to go.

Byron tha bomb!
Gorgeous people, fabulous shops, relaxed ambiance, lovely Bikram studio and awesome plans for the week.


I have done my 1st class out of my 101 challenge yesterday evening, and my 2nd class this morning: 99 to go........!

The studio is cozy, clean and owned by a true yogi.
Classes are hot and humid!! Improvement is on it's way as I have been given good feedback already.
I'll tell you though; Bikram yoga aint easy here in beautiful Byron. There's no slacking, pausing or taking it easy. It's not even allowed to wear too much. 'Dress less to impress' seems to be the way to go here with short shorts and tops -bikini style-. I guess I am down for that if they keep the hot guys coming ;-)

Glad that we completed a class and we can now enjoy ourselves. Plans for the week (besides the daily Bikram dose): Cinema, fancy dinner(s), massage(s), shopping(..ssss!?), psych reading, writing blogs meanwhile overlooking the ocean and exploring Byron and surroundings.