All I want... as the countdown begins

"When you always do the same things, you will always get the same results"

As we are counting down the final days of 2010, I must admit that it feels good. -Real good!

For me 2010 has had its struggles and I am ready for a fresh start.
Now, I know a fresh start is not a 'given' as the new year is.
This is becoming more and more clear as I've been assigned to create my very own bucket list. (By assigned I mean a very drunken evening with friends where I somehow promised to write and present a bucket list on New Years eve)

So, here Iam, with a blank notepad.

I thought this bucket list would be an easy thing to do but why does it appear to be so difficult? Why don't I have answers for what I want before I die? Or would skinny, rich and happy count?....I didn't think so.

Maybe its that this year I found my dream. A purpose, a passion which I also had to let go (all within the same freakin' year) or maybe the things I've always been so sure about suddenly did not seem so sure anymore. And maybe, just maybe, I've seen some real unfair stuff happen to the people I love the most and I wonder if its all worth it to try and control our own happiness.
But I turn 30 next year so its about time I figure this shit out ;-)

I sure as hell believe in living life to the fullest and can only hope for much more before I die, but I cant put a finger on what it is that I want.
I am empty...-for now.

But... I have 4 days to get it together (a good start to a bucket list that is) and pursue towards a new year, a year where I am not afraid to dream again and where I am brave enough to live life! Better go and do some yoga tomorrow to get focused...!
2011 (and beyond);here I come! WOO!