Live Life

I want to live my life right.....
I want to find purpose, accomplish things, be proud and most of all; enjoy it!

I don’t find it easy though.

I have not found purpose in life (....yet).
I wonder who I’ll be years from now and I wonder who I would have become had I lived a different life so far. I wonder what kind of person I would be if I could just delete all the shitty stuff which has dominated the most important years of my life; the years where I became me. I know it doesn’t help to think about this but is it true what they say; "what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger"? Or does it just make me less of the person I could have been. And from here on out, do I break through old bricks or do I ignore and move on?
~I have met people who lived an easy, loving life. A life without worries, headaches and sorrows. How do I not envy this?

Is it just me or do you as well always want different things? Things you can’t have or simply things that isn’t you? Does the grass always look greener on the other side or is it really actually greener?

I wish I could live my life peaceful, uncontrolled, free, and unwritten. Kind of like a ‘summer breeze’ with no regrets.
But instead I am controlling, organized, I over think things, have regrets and evaluate every move.

All in all, I’m happy. I am happy with the changes I have made and the person I am becoming. I am happy with new dreams even though some don’t last.
If only I could take a sneak peek into the future though... just to see if I am heading the right way......